


The Secret Boyfriend

by waitineedaname



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Found Family, I will use that tag on every taz fic so help me god, M/M, Team as Family, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 22:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13444692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitineedaname/pseuds/waitineedaname
Summary: If they had just waited like normal people, Taako would've introduced them to his boyfriend ages ago. But they just had to make a guessing game out of it, so hell, why not play along?





	The Secret Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> do you ever get struck by like a chunk of dialogue and you have to write it? Yeah that's what happened here. Also I promise I love Brad, he's just easy to pick on

“Guys!” Magnus yelled, rushing into the living room. Twin faces looked over at him, perched on either side of Merle on the couch. Davenport barely looked up from his book, sitting to the side in a plush chair. “Breaking news!”

“Julia’s pregnant.” Lup offered, eyes wide with mock surprise.

“No-”

_“You’re_ pregnant,” came Taako’s immediate reply from the other side of the couch.

“What? No-”

“I’ll never be a grandfather!” Merle wailed dramatically, causing the rest of the room to collectively roll their eyes.

“You hate kids.” Davenport reminded him at the same time as Taako said “What about Agnes?”

“A kid you found on the street doesn’t count.”

“It was on a _train-”_

“Same difference.”

“Guys!” Magnus yelled again, drawing their attention back to him. “I think I figured out who Taako’s boyfriend is!”

_“Really.”_ Taako’s voice dripped with sarcasm, and Lup snickered. “Do tell. You've only had, what, eight guesses?”

“Is it…” Magnus paused for dramatic effect. “Brad Bradson.”

“The HR guy?” Lup said while her brother gasped, putting a hand to his chest. 

“Magnus… That’s…” A smirk broke across Taako’s face. “The wrongest you’ve ever been.”

“Oh, come on!”

“Swing and a miss!” Merle cackled.

“Not even a little bit close?” Magnus whined.

“Nope.” Taako said with a pop to the p. 

“You’re really bad at this, Mags.” Lup said, a teasing grin on her face.

“Hey, you haven’t been able to figure it out either!”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t have guessed _Brad Bradson._ He’s not Taako’s type.”

“Well what _is_ his type?”

“Tall, dark, and handsome.” Taako drawled with a roll to his eyes. “That’s the only clue I’ve given you.”

“Brad’s tall!”

“He’s got one check mark. He needs three to hit ch’ boy’s high standards.”

“Do people like that even exist?” Magnus said, pouting as he dropped into one of the other chairs.

“They sure do, and one of them is taking me out to the movies in-” Taako checked his phone and began to get up. “-forty five minutes. This has been a hell of a time, but Taako’s gotta bounce.”

“I should probably get going too. Barry and Lucretia’s classes let out pretty soon. Walk you there, bro?” Lup offered, getting up and gathering her things too.

“You know the deal.” He warned, already on his way to the door.

“I won’t follow you and spy, sheesh.” She rolled her eyes at the other three, earning poorly stifled snickers.

“Say hi to Brad for me!” Merle shouted after them, and Taako shot him the finger before slamming the door.

He hefted his jacket a little higher on his shoulders as they made their way to the sidewalk. He looked good, but when it was this chilly out, what was the cost? Lup was quiet next to him, brushing their shoulders together.

“You’re cool, right? With us trying to guess your new beau?” She spoke up after a minute. “‘Cause if not, I can tell them to quit. We all just wanna make sure he’s good for you, y’know?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Y’all started the guessing thing yourselves, I probably would’ve told you ages ago if you hadn’t made a game out of it.” He shrugged and pretending not to notice the way Lup’s face lit up.

“Does that mean you’ll-”

_“Hell_ no. You wanna play the guessing game, you’re gonna play the guessing game. Them’s the breaks.” Taako flashed her a grin and laughed when her face fell dramatically. “You’ll get to meet him and judge him eventually, sheesh. Now if you’ll excuse me-” They’d reached a corner and he jerked his head to the right, in the opposite direction of Barry and Lucretia’s university, “-This is my turn. Tell Barold and ‘Cretia that Taako said to keep up the nerd shit.”

“Yeah, yeah, go have fun with your mystery man.” Lup shooed him off and Taako gave her a cheesy wink before making his way across the street. 

Kravitz was already at the movie theater when Taako got there, and he couldn’t help but pause a moment to admire the man. Kravitz was wearing a damn button down shirt and slacks to see a cheesy action flick, and that was dressed down for him. God, Taako knew how to find a catch. And if the big, adoring smile he got when Kravitz finally spotted him made his heart flutter- well, no one had to know.

“Hey.” Kravitz said, leaning in for a light kiss before pulling back and giving him a teasing grin. “Did you get held up?”

“Ugh, they’re relentless.” Taako draped himself dramatically over Kravitz’s shoulder, enjoying the light laugh that earned him. “You wanna know who they guessed this time? Brad fucking _Bradson.”_

“What?” And there was that stupid heart flutter again when Kravitz crinkled his nose. “Him? I mean, he’s nice and all, but…”

“But he’s no you.” Taako patted Kravitz’s chest gently, then pushed himself upright to take his hand. “Are we gonna see this movie or what?”

“Right, yeah.” Kravitz walked them over to the ticket stand, glancing over at Taako while he paid. “What’s the plan for after this? Are we going out to dinner?”

“Actually, Magnus said he’s gonna be out with Julia, so… I was thinking we could, you know. Have dinner at my place. If that’s cool with you.” Taako did his best to act casual about it, but the bright grin Kravitz gave him damn near made him melt.

“I’d _love_ that.”

-

Magnus woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast being made and the sound of Taako chattering with… someone. His groggy, half-asleep brain decided that it was probably Lup - even though it didn’t sound like her at all - and he didn’t make any effort to look presentable before wandering out into the kitchen. Yep, there was Taako making pancakes, and there was-

Not Lup.

He was Lup sized, sure, standing at roughly the same height as Taako, but that’s where the similarities ended. The stranger was wearing one of Taako’s t-shirts and sweatpants, and thin dreads were half tied back to reveal a sleepy but definitively handsome face that was staring at Taako adoringly. He was laughing at something Taako had said and the gears finally clunked together in Magnus’s brain.

Tall, dark, and handsome. Oh _shit._

Just as Magnus made the realization, the stranger’s eyes finally slid over to spot him and he froze like a deer in the headlights. Magnus and Taako’s guest stared at each other, both seeming equally surprised to see each other, and Taako continued to talk as he flipped the pancakes.

“Ain’t that right, Kr-” He finally looked up and noticed his silence, slowly turning to follow his gaze all the way to Magnus. “...Fuck. I thought you were staying with Jules?”

“She went to work early, and I came back here for more sleep.” Magnus answered slowly, still staring. “Is that…?”

Taako half sighed and half groaned. “Yeah, it is. Kravitz, meet Magnus. Magnus, meet Kravitz.”

Kravitz smiled awkwardly and half waved. “Hi.”

Magnus put his hands on his hips and straightened up, doing his best to appear intimidating while he looked Kravitz over. Kravitz, to his credit, stood his ground, prepared for whatever brotherly hazing Magnus was going to send his way. “Are you gonna treat Taako right?”

“Of course.”

“Are you prepared to deal with the consequences if you hurt him? By consequences, I mean six angry people destroying you?”

“I won’t hurt him.” Kravitz’s voice was firm and genuine, and after another moment of eying him, Magnus broke into a big grin.

“Welcome to the family, Kravitz.” He bridged the distance between them and grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly.

“Are you done?” Taako spoke up, having watched the exchange with touched amusement. “Sit down so you can eat your fucking pancakes.”

“Hey, just so you know,” Magnus said when he’d pulled Kravitz over to the kitchen table, “Any embarrassing stories he’s told you about me are definitely lies.”

“Oh, so you haven’t gotten drunk and tried to adopt every dog at the shelter?” Kravitz asked, his lips quirking with amusement.

“Ah. Well-”

Kravitz was going to fit in perfectly.


End file.
